Escape From my Darkness
by Marine Brother Shran
Summary: Ayanami is under a state of depression, and is losing her will to live. Her twin sister is concerned, but is unsure of what to do. What happens when Ikari takes an interest in one of the Ayanami twins? How will it affect them? AU, OOC, AyaXIka
1. A Chance to Live Again

**Escape From my Darkness**

**Chapter I A Chance to Live Again**

**In Depth Summary: Rei Ayanami and Reika Ayanami are twin sisters, both at the age of 16. The two of them have the same blue hair colour, one has crimson red and the other has cobalt blue. One is considered a nerd and a weirdo, the other popular and well known. Yet at one point, both were popular and well known, but one has fallen deep into depression, and no one knows why. Shinji Ikari, an extremely popular boy in school has his eyes set on one of the twins, but is unsure how to go about this. He seeks help from the other sibling, and will try to accomplish what other boys have failed. Enter the heart of one of the Ayanami twins.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN EVANGELION! GAINAX AND HOWEVER DOES! SO LEAVE ME ALONE!**

"Hey Rei!" Reiki shouted from outside of her two floor house. Inside, an azure blue haired girl, with near unkempt hair just down to the base of her head, crimson red eyes and albino white skin, lets out a heavy sigh. Rei Ayanami appeared on the front left balcony of her house, clad in her school uniform which consisted of a white dress shirt with the school crest on the left breast pocket and black ruffled skirt and a black tie.

In a neutral monotonous tone, she replied, "Nani?"

"Do you have to be so, neutral?" Reika Ayanami pouted as she tied her shoulder length hair. "Pass me my karate belt! I'm late as it is." Rei disappeared into her room, and instantly took a left and goes into her walk in closet, and looked to the left side as she searched through her sisters clothing. Finding what she needed, she pulled it out and walks back to the balcony and unceremoniously dropped it, and started to head back in.

Reika let out a sigh of exasperation and picked up her brown belt, "You could've been nicer and at least thrown it to me."

"Do you not have a practice to go to Reika nee-san?" Rei deadpanned before she went back inside as Reika stuffed her belt into her backpack.

Reika looked at her watch, shrieked, and then quickly mounts her bike as she yelled, "Oh god, I'm going to be late I'm going to be late! See you later tonight Rei!" Rei however shook her head as she walked back inside and quietly thought about her sister and observed her room.

Her twin sister, Reika Ayanami was the older of the two. They both had the same hair colour and skin; however, that was where their similarities ended. Reika was more of an athlete, so she had a more defined and toned body. Her bust was also larger than Rei. She was a full size b-cup, whereas her sister was in the middle of a b-cup and a-cup bust. Also, their hair style differed greatly. Reika was more extravagant and liked to style her hair in buns, beehives, and such, thus she grew it to reach down to around her shoulder, while Rei had a tomboyish hairstyle, as to easily maintain her hair. And also their eye colours different. Rei had crimson red eyes, while her sister had cobalt blue eyes. That was the major difference between the two and neither sisters complained. It actually served to reduce the amount of people asking who was which. Rei sighed and looked around.

Directly to her left was their walk in closet. It was only really used by her sister, Reika Ayanami, as she had no use for it. She found those kinds of closet unnecessary, and very much unneeded, if it weren't for her sister's enormous wardrobe. Next to it was the door to their bathroom. To her right were two desks, each with computers, however one was festooned with various ornaments, and trinkets, such as key chains, pictures of friends and what not. The other was strewn with paper, books, pens, pencils, some returned worksheets, other such. She never really kept her desk tidy these days, as it was only going to get messy again. In the left corner, a mirror and a counter top of various make-up and accessories was setup. Rei never touched it, or had not in a long while. Make-up to her, especially now was nothing more than something superfluous, strictly used to hide your true fact from the world. Lastly, to the right against the walls were two beds. One a simple blue, with blue and white striped pillow, the other was a vibrant red.

Rei frowned when she saw her sister's bed, as she hated the colour red, as much as she hated the colour of her natural eyes. However she usually ignored that fact and always moved on. She walked to the desk on the wall opposite the walk in closet when she hears Reika's messenger system go off. She looked to her right to see that someone had indeed sent her a message. Not wishing to be disturbed by such incessant sounds, should the person continue to message Reika's computer, she typed in that Reika had gone off, and then set her messenger system to away, before turning back to her desk and start her homework.

Later that night their mother, Naoko Akagi and her 21 year old sister Ritsuko came back late from work, to find Rei and Reika already in bed.

Naoko was the adoptive mother of the Ayanami twins. She was tall, sleek, and had short brown curly hair, and emerald eyes. Her daughter, Ritsuko, also had brown hair that reached down to the base of her head, however she had dyed it blond, and she had two emerald eyes. Both of them had matching moles, underneath their left eye. The two of them stared at the twins, before directing their attention towards the one in the corner, who was sleeping a dreamless sleep.

Naoko looks sadly at Rei and quietly says, "It's been what, 2 years since the incident?"

Ritsuko hums in agreement, "Yeah it has. She won't change; not for a while. It affected her beyond what I could believe."

"It's so sad, to think they were both happy at the time, but now…" a tear slides down her face. "Now Rei is just suffering over what happened. She won't let go."

"It can't be helped," she said, placing a hand on her mother's shoulder. "She has to do this on her own. If she can't move on, and needs help, then we help. Until then, we wait. Dad said something similar to me once."

Naoko nodded as she silently closes the door, "Your father was always a wise man."

"That he was mom. That he was." The two then retired into their rooms for the night.

That morning, both girls groaned at the sound of their alarm clocks going off. However Reika stayed in bed, hiding her head underneath her pillow while Rei sat up and hit the snooze button. She stretched before getting out of bed, eyeing her sister's laziness for a moment. Despite the neutral face she bore, her eyes burned with extreme malice for her sister. She walked around her sister's bed, to her desk where her school uniform rested on the back of her chair. She took the white dress shirt and black skirt, and grabbed a tie from a draw in her desk before going into the bathroom for her cold morning shower.

Meanwhile downstairs, Naoko was cooking breakfast while Ritsuko set up the table. Reika on the other hand remained in bed as she thinks about what she will do next for the day. Rei simply stood in the shower as she let the cold water run down her body, waking her up. As she showers, she lets hidden tears drip down her face as the water intermixes with her hair. No one knows of this teary session, not even her cobalt blue eyed sister. For two years, she held tears back daily, and every morning she lets out her tears, that she swore she would never let the rest of the world see. Two years ago, she would usually do something, such as try new fragrances and the like but lately she's stopped caring and only did the bare minimum. She quickly shampooed her hair and step out, and dried herself off, making sure all tears were wiped off her face. She then brushed her teeth, put on fresh undergarments and then her school uniform. She walked out to see her sister, still groggy waiting in front of the bathroom, for Rei to come out. Rei moved out of the way to give her sister access into the washroom before walking out.

Rei goes to her desk, and quickly grabbed her schoolbag, packed in the needed books and then headed downstairs with her bag in hand. When she reached the kitchen she saw that her mother and older sister had already sat down eating.

Naoko sees her adoptive daughter and said to her, "Breakfast is on the oven. Help yourself."

"Hai," she quietly responded, placing her bag next to her chairs and grabbed some toast, and a glass of soy milk. "I will walk this morning."

Both women look at her worriedly, but it was Ritsuko who voiced her concern, "You sure imoutou-chan?"

"Hai." She calmly ate her food, while the two women look at Rei worriedly. They knew she's had problem in school lately and to go to school alone, let alone walking made them feel very comfortable. In fact it's been nagging them for the past two years. She usually came home every other day bruised or injured in some manner, and then would have to force her to let them treat her injuries.

Reika soon walked down with a spring in her step, her hair done up in a neat bun, "Ohaiyo," she greeted in a cheerily manner.

"Reika," Naoko greeted back. "You need a ride? Or are you biking?"

"I'm biking, why?" she asked, as she helps herself to eggs and bacon.

"Rei's walking, and apparently she wants to be alone," Ritsuko explained.

Reika simply shrugged, "Sure thing sis." Naoko and Ritsuko could only stare in disbelief at the nonchalant manner Reika had just displayed about her sister.

Rei quickly got up, took her plate and glass, and placed them in the sink before grabbing her bag, put on her shoes and walked out.

She walked down the stairs, made a right, and started to walk uphill, deep in thought. 'I am not surprised that was her answer. She as of late has become careless.' Rei looked up to see the familiar clock tower of her school barely peeking over the trees of the park she was walking past. She slightly frowned at the sight, seeing as she hated the school. She often wondered why she continued to go to school. She had nothing to gain these days, nor any real goals set out for her to achieve. She really had nothing at the school. It all belonged to her sister Reika. She was the popular one, the one that was considered 'hip'. Rei was just a sound in the wind.

She wasn't hated by the school, but she wasn't known in the school either. Not by name. For the last two years, she had been known as the quiet, cold, untouchable ice queen. She never showed any emotions, or the least bit of interest in school. In her classes she was often seen sitting at her desk, staring out of the window with her chin in her hand. Whenever she was spoken to, she would look at them with a face of indifference and if questioned, kept them short and simple, or downright ignore them. School was a place that had no real value to her. However there were some aspects of school that she greatly disliked…more like hated to be exact.

Rei walked into the school, and went straight for her locker on the first floor, opened it, and started putting in and pulling out books. She had Math as her first class, and she greatly despised it. She packed her Math book in, and placed all other books and her bentou inside her locker. She closed the door to reveal a redhead standing behind the door.

Asuka Langley Soryu, the most popular girl in school. She was at the top of the entire hierarchy in the popular kid's world. Even popular kids themselves bow before her. Her fiery waist length auburn red hair, sapphire blue eyes, her German appearance, everything about her simply draws people to her. If one wanted favours, and had good connections, even the lowest of kids can have favours granted from her, providing their connections do the talking. One thing she was well known for, since she came in three years ago, was that she wouldn't dare talk to people too far below her. She would instead either laugh at them if they tried to talk to her, kick them and walk away, or insult the hell out of them, and then walk away laughing her head off. Some considered her cold, but those who did had no real say in the school.

When Asuka first came to school, she already had an aura of attraction that drew people's attention. But it was a year later that she achieved her position of being number one popular girl in the school. Since her ascension to power, Rei has been the target of Asuka. Everyday, Asuka would find an excuse to be near the girl, and then would commit various acts, such as pulling pranks on her, tripping her, rigging her locker, or even stealing books and such. Time and time again, Asuka has berated her, teased her, insulted her, and yet has never managed to break through her shell, as Rei simply shrugged off any insults thrown at her. But this only served to fuel Asuka as she continued her ways. It has been like this for the past two years, and nothing was going to change for this poor girl.

Asuka sneered at Rei as she spoke, "Well, well, guten morgen Wonder Girl."

Rei merely looked a head, "Nani, student Soryu?"

"Oh nothing," she casually replied as she twirled a lock of hair, "Just to say hello, for now." Rei simply started to walk past the redhead, when she suddenly tripped. She looked behind her to see the redhead laughing her head off as she walked away.

She met up with a few girls, hearing one of them say, "Nice going Asuka." Rei looked around to see a few of the other boys and girls snicker at her, but she brushed it off as she got up, brushed herself off, and walked to her Math class.

She hated Asuka Soryu, hated her with a passion. Despite her depressed state, that was the only real time she would feel anything. For two years she has put up with Asuka's incessant presence. Rei would put a stop to her, but she knew better. No one of her level could mess with the 'Great Asuka Soryu'. She couldn't even count on her sister to help her. She also knew that if she took Asuka down it would be her downfall as the majority of school adored her and they would turn their anger upon Rei if she did something that drastic.

She entered her math class and sat herself in the far back corner, and faced outside as she usually did in all of her classes, yet maintained an A+ average. She often wondered why she even bothered to try in school. She always did just what was needed, which was the bare minimum, and yet always gets her assignments and tests back with high marks. She often wondered what allowed her to even try, but often found no answer to that question. It was a true oddity, even for her, but she has never really put too much thought into it as she saw no reason to do such a thing. To her, her life was pointless, and it was simply meant to be lived. She lived, but had no real purpose, nor drive in life. It was more like she was a body that continued to life while the soul had left long ago. Rei let out a small sigh as she continued to stare into the sky, observing the outside world.

As students begin to fill up the seats, Rei maintained her view outside, observing the flowers, the garden, the birds and whatever else was out there, until she heard snickering around her, informing her that Asuka and her posse were present. She despised math greatly because this was where most of her enemies were during the first class. She let out a very quietly discontented sigh as she maintained her focus outside. However that proved to be unnecessary as several girls squealing at the door momentarily drew her attention towards it.

There in the doorway stood one of most popular boy in school, Shinji Ikari. He had a clean cut chestnut brown hair, a soft boyish appearance despite being 16, and had the same shade of cobalt blue as her sister. How he was popular greatly eluded Rei though. He was a secluded boy, shy, and introverted, much like her. He hated to be surrounded by people and only hung with the class jock Toji Suzuhara and military otaku Kensuke Aida. From what Rei knew, he was abandoned by his father after his mother died, and lived with his godmother. But she never really bothered to get to know the boy as he never talked to anyone at first, since he kept to himself. However, she had a crush on the boy. Another oddity, she found, despite her depression. She often figured one going through such a depression would feel nothing but sadness, but here she was, feeling an attraction and hatred.

She knew she could never talk to him because of their different social status, plus he never talked with anyone unless he really needed something, or he had to. He had attempted once with her when her first came a year ago, but Rei had simply disregarded him and he never talked to her again. She didn't mind, as she knew that popular people would never dare to talk to people like her, or in Shinji's case, he wouldn't dare talk to anyone if he could.

She often pondered on her feelings towards the boy. She never really opened up to anyone after an incident two years back, and she never really felt any emotions but sadness and anger. But when he came at the start of the year, he sparked a new emotion within her. She was somewhat infatuated, but she didn't have the will or the courage to act. She remembered once seeing him in a tree at the edge of the school, sitting on one of the branches as he listened to his music. She also remembered how she wanted to be in his arms, and listen to whatever music, or just observe the sky. But she knew that would never happen, and had banished the idea from her mind. How could a reclusive boy and the school ice queen ever be together? It was only a dream. That was what it would ever be.

Later that afternoon, Rei sat in the living room on a royal blue love seat and read her book. Her living room was a modest room, with a hearth in the middle of the wall on the left side, from the door's point of view, a hallway leaning to the other rooms across, and a TV in the left corner on the left side of the hearth. The walls were nicely decorated with pictures of the family, in every last one of them, Rei was not present sadly. In front of the hearth was the love seat Rei was currently sitting on. In front of the T.V. were a coffee table, a couch, and an arm chair.

Rei was enjoying her book when the doorbell rang. She didn't even look up to see who could've possibly been at the door, for she did not care. She mostly did things that she was told to do, otherwise she would just sit somewhere, and read. It was the only time she didn't feel the pain of the incident without hurting herself. So to insured that she did not do anything rash, her mother had forced her to take up reading. She initially read whenever her mother was home, but soon she found that reading was something she could enjoy. Her mother thought it was a first step, but truly, it only served as a hiding place for her.

The doorbell continued to ring, which only served to disturb her reading. Resigning, Rei quietly closed her book, and got up and made her way to leave the room.

However before she got very far from her seat, she heard Reika call out, "Rei, can you get the door? I have practice soon!"

"Hai," she deadpanned. Turned around, headed towards the door, and opened it, mentally gasping at the sight before her. Before her stood Shinji Ikari, the high school pretty boy as some called him. Rei's mind pondered the reason Shinji could be here. He couldn't have been here to see her, as he had never bothered to talk to her since she ignored him the first time. That only left that he was here to see Reika, but to what purpose, she was yet to find out.

"Good afternoon, Ayanami-san," Shinji quietly greeted, as he shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

"Ikari-san," she replied in her neutral voice, while in her mind, 'What is he doing here? He must be here to see Reika. Does he not know that she has martial arts on Wednesdays as well?' She turned around and faced the stairs, next to the hallway entrance, when she heard her sister coming down. When she saw Shinji, her face lit up in mocked surprise. Rei slightly narrowed her eyes, but it remained unnoticed to the untrained eye.

"Oh Shinji-san, I forgot to tell you that I have martial arts class. Tell you what, you stay here, keep my sis company since no one else is home, and when I get back, we can start our biology project, okay?"

"Sure, Reika-san," Shinji quietly replied, giving her a polite nod as she ran out the door. Rei then motioned for Shinji to enter, and then closed the door. Following this, she returned to her spot on the seat, sat down, and continued to read her book.

Shinji set his bag down and took off his shoes, and approached the seat, "May I sit down?"

"If you wish," she simply replied as she read.

He sat down on the seat, while attempting to keep his distance from Rei. Despite the fact she was reading, some parts in her mind began to work again for the first time since 2 years. She started to mentally note and file away all of Shinji's various actions. From what she could tell, Shinji was feeling extremely nervous. He was constantly fidgeting, always shifting in his seat, as if the seat was some how uncomfortable to him. He also had his hands on his thighs which were clenching and unclenching themselves, as he started to bounce his left leg up and down. His breathing was slightly irregular, but was nothing to be concerned of, and his eyes seemed to be displaying some form of nervousness. In fact his whole body language was indicating some state of anxiety or nervousness, but the reason as to why eluded her. Seeing that there was nothing left worth gathering or noting, she resumed her reading.

Shinji took a few deep breaths and suddenly asked, "What you reading?"

"A novel I acquired at the library."

"Is it any good?"

"It is agreeable."

Silence once again filled the room. Rei preferred the silence. As far back as she could remember she always enjoyed the silence. Whenever she wasn't doing anything, she was either alone somewhere, like a rooftop or in her room, or was with someone who also enjoyed the silence. She would sit for hours, listening to nothing, or the natural silence of the outside. She would sometime sit on her roof, late at night, and watched the stars, as she listened to the natural peace of the outside. A car or two would interrupt the silence, but nothing more. The silence would bring peace to her soul.

Now the silence was more like a torturer. Whenever she was alone, without activity, her mind would wander upon itself. She would think back to two years ago, and the memories would haunt her, stalk her, and attack her very soul as the memories flooded her mind. She hated it, and thus she always tried to keep herself busy. However no matter what, the darkness that came on strong in silence, always assaulted her very being. She was followed, always followed. It consumed her mind, stripping her of her emotion, of her life. Her life was truly bleak, and it slowly destroyed her will to live throughout the past two years. Now she lives by the day, but she remains unsure how long before she loses her interest in life. Already, she has begun to doubt things, such as why does she continue to go to school and such. It was truly a bleak and helpless existence for her. She would like it to end, but she could never let go of what happened two years ago. It would always be with her, as it consumed her soul.

"Do you always talk like that?" Shinji suddenly ask, drawing Rei from her thoughts about the silence.

"Like what?" her eyes never leaving the book.

"Well…" he scratched the back of his head to find the words. "You always speak in an objective tone. At least from what I can tell since I started schooling here."

"I find drawn out sentences superfluous."

"And your vocabulary, you really need to tone it down Ayanami-san."

"No point."

"No point?"

"Hai."

"Why no point though? I don't understand, Ayanami-san."

"It is pointless to decrease my vocabulary. It is part of me."

"So uh…what kind of hobbies do you have?" he asked, hope to make conversation in his voice.

"I read books, and play the violin."

"Anything else?"

"I either clean the house or do my homework. Is there any point to this? Or are you trying to make conversation?"

"I…well…uh…yes."

"Please stop."

"Huh?"

"As I said, I find drawn out sentences to be superfluous, same thing in conversations. I prefer them to the point or no conversation at all."

"I see," he replied dejectedly. The rest of the afternoon went by slowly in the awkward silence. Shinji sighed sadly as he pulled out his S-DAT player and listened to it. This left Rei alone with her thoughts, as he had closed his eyes and focused on his music. Despite the novel she was reading, she found the silence more uncomfortable that she was used to. It was then she noticed that talking with Shinji, despite the shortness of it, gave her a small temporary reprieve from the darkness. During her conversation with Shinji, she was at peace. The only time she ever felt like this was when she read romance novels, or adventures siblings undertook. She would imagine herself in the shoes of the woman or sister in her stories, and therefore would be protected by the man, or the brother. However in one small moment, that peace was weakened. She wondered what it could mean. Although it could possibly refer to her feelings but…she immediately shook the thought off. No way could she ever be with a boy like Shinji. She also figured she would soon lose her will to live, and eventually would die a lonely death. She had lived the last two years alone, she may as well end it alone.

Shinji opened his eyes to notice that Rei had stopped looking at her book, and stared down at the floor with a distant look. It was barely noticeable through the haze that had fogged her crimson orbs, but he swore that he could see loneliness in her heart, possible even a desire to be protected from something. He wondered what could've happened to her to have such eyes, but it was not his place. However that did not stop him from often wondering how and why she could have such eyes. He often wondered what she was like if she smiled.

Rei could feel Shinji's gaze upon her, and it begun to stir something inside her. She wondered how one visit could stir so much inside her. She often believed that after what happened to her two years ago, she could never return to her original state. But here she was, with the hottest boy in her class and grade, in her house, and his words of curiosity, his very presence, was already stirring things inside her. Rei figured that her soul had died long ago that day, but here she was, feeling things. She felt her heart constricting upon itself, her breathing, although quiet, was rather ragged. She felt warm inside herself, and a longing for his continuous undivided attention. All this resonated throughout her soul as it battled the darkness.

She had been falling for the last two years; deeper and deeper into a chasm known to all as depression. She figured that the day she hit the bottom was the day she died. As she fell, the light above her, the exit of this pit, the light that was her life, was no longer within her reach. But now that light, that small spark, that was slowly dying, started to burn brightly once more as it started to grow and approach her. It was slow, and it was steady, but for sure her life seemed to slowly becoming something tangible once more. She hated this depression, but she seemed to be given this chance to live again. However, that chance was lost this night.

Rei took a deep breath, and turned to face Shinji only to find him walking upstairs with Reika. Her heart felt like a tonne of bricks as it fell down harsh in her soul. The light seemed to have dimmed inside her soul, and the darkness seemed even more intrusive than ever. She felt something she hadn't felt for years, since the days she was adopted by the Akagi family. She was afraid. She was afraid that she would die a lonely existent, she was afraid she would lose her chance at life. For the first time since two years ago, she cried. Unlike the tears she shed in the mornings, which only came in small amounts, and it was simply bottled sadness, she shed full blown tears, as they streamed down her face. She made no sound, but her heart was hurt that day. But little did she know, she made yet have a chance to heal it.

Throughout the evening, Rei was in a worst state than ever, so says her family. She did eat that night. She simply sat on the love seat, staring out towards the door, almost as if she was waiting for someone. No one could understand who or what she could be waiting for, but one look at her told them she was lost in a world of her own. How the world she was lost in was what concerned them. Instead of a far away look when someone was daydreaming, she had a deadened appearance. They noticed that she had cried earlier that afternoon, and that something was had upset her bad enough to have her shed tears. Her eyes were more of a dull copper instead of the vibrant crimson, which was a sure sign something was negatively affecting her depression. They didn't know what to do, they were at a loss.

Later that night, after a long time of tried and failed persuasions, Naoko and Ritsuko finally forced Rei out of the seat, and brought her up to her room. From there, Reika took over and more or less changed Rei out of her school clothes and into her pyjamas. Afterwards she laid Rei in bed, which now merely looked up at the ceiling, her depressed expression still on her face. It was starting to scare Reika badly. She wanted to help Rei, badly. However, she left it for a bit later, and quickly got ready for bed.

After taking a quick shower, and changed into her pyjamas, she sat on her bed and stared at Rei for some time. Rei's mind was in turmoil. She had a shot, to possibly at the very least gain Shinji's friendship. Everything started with friendship, and that was what she probably needed. But that chance to go beyond friendship seemed to have been taken away from her, by Reika. Somewhere, mixed in with all the sadness and the enveloping darkness that consumes her soul, she could feel anger out towards her sister. That unforgiving anger she felt two years ago began to reignite and burn, with a slow, but growing passion.

Reika stared at her sister for some time before she took a deep breath, "Say sis, why did you give up your status back then?" Rei slowly turned her head to her left to look towards Reika. Reika cringed at the sight of her sister's eyes. She immediately knew the answer. Her eyes always spoke for her whenever she didn't speak. Rei was angry. She had still not forgiven her for what she did back two years ago, nor had she forgiven herself. What was worse was that she had another reason to be angry at her. For what reason, she didn't know.

Reika took a few deep breaths to recover from her stare, and spoke again, "Ok, ok, I'm sorry I asked, however, I have," she paused a moment, "A proposal." Rei raised an eyebrow, but showed no other expression.

"You return to your old self, the person you were two years back, for a whole week, and I promise I will get Asuka off your back for two years, if not, one year. How does that sound?"

"Why?" she quietly asked. Despite the lack of volume in her voice, Reika could hear the venom in her voice. She knew she had to tread carefully. She was on thin ice.

"Well in my case, I get to see my sister in a manner of speaking, in a cheerful mood again. And in your case, if Asuka backs off, other, lesser popular kids will back off as well, as they will follow her lead. Plus tomorrow is a good day as any because we get to wear regular clothing for the day. So what to you say?" She sits on the edge of her bed as she sticks out her hand.

"I have no reason to," she deadpanned. She then turned her head to face the ceiling again. She began to wonder why her sister would offer such an agreement, and for a whole week. The convenience of such an offer spoke of an ulterior motive. However it did not matter to her really. She didn't care. Just one move from her sister destroyed what little was left of her soul anyhow. She was now waiting for her time.

So lost in her thoughts she almost didn't catch Reika saying, "Shinji's curious about your real self." The name Shinji immediately cut through her thoughts and her darkness, drawing her back into reality. She slowly turned her head and faced her sister, to only then notice the worried face upon her face.

"Ikari-san?" she quietly whispered.

Reika nodded her head, "Yeah, while we were working on our project, he asked a lot of questions about you. I could be wrong, but he may have the hots for you." Although she didn't blush, Rei could feel her body heating up from the very thought that Shinji may have feelings for her. If so, she wondered if the reasons behind his attempted conversations were to get to know her. If so, she had pushed him away again. He had tried to get her to open up by opening a bit of himself of, and she in the end rejected his offer, to continue to wallow in her own misery.

"So," Reika began, "now that you know why I'm offering this, what to you say? This may be your shot not only to get out of this slump that's scaring mom and Ritsuko; you may just get the hottest guy in school to be your boyfriend."

"Hottest guy in school…boyfriend…" Rei quietly muttered, and looked back up at the ceiling. Reika was unsure of what was going through Rei's mind, and so she pulled her hand back and waited. Inside, Rei was sorting through what she felt. On one hand, she felt happy she had a chance to possibly gain Shinji's attention, and now with the knowledge that Shinji may be attracted to her made her believe there was a possibility. Also felt relieved that her sister has not interest Shinji in that manner, but also suspicious that her sister planned this. However, she was also scared. Scare of what Asuka might do if she found out, and scared that a relationship between herself and Shinji would never work. That was what she was feared most right now, and it prevented her from answering straight out. However, her sister's deal involved getting Asuka to back off. She knew she had enough influence in the school to be allowed to speak directly to Asuka. Perhaps there was a chance.

She turned to face Reika, "Agree, under on condition."

"What's that?"

"The moment Asuka harasses me, the deal is off. Agreed?"

"Deal," Rei cracked a tiny smile as she slowly got up and sat on the edge of her bed, and then takes her sister's hand. "Glad that your smile is somewhat back," flashing a big smile of her own.

"Do not expect this to last any longer than a week."

"Go to sleep girls," Naoko called out from the hall as she walked into her room. Both girls let out heavy sighs as they slipped into bed, and let sleep claim them.

**So how was that? To those who are familiar with the story The Real You, this is a reworked version, complete rewrite of the story. I have rewritten the plot, the story behind it, and such. Unlike the original which focused on both sisters, you may have noticed from my writing that I have focused it purely on Rei. In most of my fics, I usually focus on Shinji and Rei, but this focuses solely on Rei, with some Shinji during their dealings. What about Rei I will focus on, you should already have an idea. If not, you will get it sooner or later. Anyways, please leave your reviews. That's all from me.**

**Cheers Ja ne**


	2. A Chance Taken

**Escape From my Darkness**

**Chapter II A Chance Taken**

**Well now, I'm surprised I received 10 reviews. That's decent I suppose. I suppose lack of review was due to either A: The title wasn't very catchy, or B: The story wasn't all that good, or lastly C: The story was too deep. Well in response to A, I'm sorry, but I thought that was the most fitting. As for B and C, well you guys can stop if you don't like it. It's my story, so I'll write it as a please, so to speak. If your criticisms are constructive, I'll take it under advisement. Flames will be ignored.**

It was a peaceful morning, as the bright crimson blush of the dawn slowly chased away the darkness of the night as it bathed all of Tokyo in its warm glow. It was truly a sight to behold, and was true to the phrase, "Good morning." The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the entire city was silent from the lack of any vehicles of mankind. It was the kind of day one could simply relax and enjoy the bright ethereal glow of the sun. It almost had a romantic feeling to it. Couples could easily be seen sitting on their roofs as they witnessed the slow yet beautiful rise of the sun as he brought forth a new day, which only meant a new day to experience more of what life had to offer. It was a silent, beautiful and peaceful morning. But like all good things, it soon came to an end as the inhabitants of the city began to stir and begin their day.

That morning, Rei woke up early with a certain feeling inside of her. She couldn't put her finger on it for a moment; for it was one of the many emotions she had thought she had lost long ago. It was hazy, fogged by the darkness of her depression, but it was there. It struggled to surface to assert itself from the mass and make its presence known, but was unable to due to the thickness of the mass. She shrugged it off as her past self trying to rise back into its rightful place. Granted it was something she wouldn't mind, but now was not the time for such a thing as soul searching, at least first thing in the morning. She looked over at the digital clock to see it read 6:00 realising that she woken up half hour earlier than she normally did. She smiled slightly as she got out of bed and went into her walk-in closet.

Inside she began to go through her clothes in search for something. Realizing that her search area did not have what she desired bent down, reached to the back of her half and pulled out a box and opened it. Inside were a series of old garments she had not seen nor worn for two years. As she looked through her clothes she hoped that she had not outgrown them just yet. It would be somewhat embarrassing if she were to show up in clothing that did not fit her. She searched until she pulled a white tank top that read, ANGEL in bold blue letters across the chest. A small smile crept up along her face as she gently ran her fingers across the word. Even after two years she could feel the raised texture of the letters, and the letters still sparkled in the light. She noticed that amongst all of her clothing, it was the only one that wasn't folded. Even in her depressed state, she still valued it as her favourite as she did two years ago. She carefully laid down her tank top, closed the box and pushed it into the back before pulling out a second one where she pulled out a pair jean flares, with angels around the waist area and at the hems. She took her cloths and entered into the washroom.

Rei took a moment to look at her washroom. It was a modest one, with a shower cubicle to her left, a counter and sink in front of her, a bathtub to her right in the corner, and next to the sink was a toilet. She wondered why she actually took a moment to actually observe the room, but figured that it was the fact she never really paid attention to her surroundings until now. She laid her clothes on the counter, stripped herself, and entered the shower, and for the first time in two years used hot water as she showered. As she let the warm soothing water beat down on her body, she felt somewhat uplifted. It wasn't much, but it felt a lot better than the cold showers she's had for the past two years. It was agreeable, something she had not felt for anything. Until today, or rather last night, nothing was really agreeable. Wishing to experience the agreeable once more, she reached up to a shelf in front of her and picked up her old bottle of lavender scented body wash. She opened it up and inhaled the alluring scent that she had long forgotten.

As the scent coursed through it brought back many memories. She remembered the good days when she was truly happy and how everyone had treated her with respect. She even had a lot of friends back then, most of which don't even talk to her. It even brought back the few good memories she had with her real mother and father. They were few, but in each of them they were happy moments. She continued to reminisce in the good old days as she squeezed some of the wash onto her hands and began to apply it to her filthy body. She never really cared for her body, doing what was only needed, but she was never truly clean. Soon her body would once again experience the true feeling of being cleansed. Washing one self is much like cleansing one's soul of the day's filth. Outside, Reika began to stir from the faint scent of lavender which she had long so wished to smell again. She smiled slightly as she drifted back to sleep, glad that she would spend a little time with her old sister. She just hoped that things would be like they were two years ago. She cringed at the thought, but drifted back into an easy sleep. Rei soon finished with her shower and dried herself off. As she does she looked in the mirror and gasped at the sight of her.

"What…what happened to me?" she whispered as she slowly approached the mirror above the sink. "I look horrible." She gently reached out and touched the mirror, as she outlined the reflection of her hair. It was a mess. It was unruly, it was frayed, and it was disgusting. The fact that she recently had done a horrible job with her hair left her a bit disturbed. But it just wasn't her hair that had rattled her. Her face in general was disheartening. She appeared somewhat gaunt, somewhat lifeless. Some of the life had drained from her that her skin was paler than usual.

"Is this me? Is this what I really am? He never would've wanted me to look like this." The last sentence brought tears to her eyes as she remembered what happened to the person she spoke of two years ago. She sighed slightly as she stared at the locket on the counter. She smiled slightly, remembering the sentimental value of it, and then looked back up at her reflection. It wasn't going to be easy, but figured she may as well try to look decent, even if it was for a week, although perhaps it might be longer, if she had the will. Perhaps resuming her old routine might be the push she needed to go back to her life.

She sighed again as she opened the mirror and pulled out a hair clip, and some hair gel. She squeezed some gel into her hands as she tried to style her hair in such a way that it would look full, yet not like a huge clump. She soon managed to get most of the ends flattened, and also managed to gel her hair in such a way so that most of the hair on her left was either tucked behind her ear, and whatever stray hair there was, was held back by the blue hair clip. The right side was gelled so that the ends seemed more flattened instead of the frayed appearance she's had for a while now. Satisfied with her image, she went about putting on her undergarments and clothes.

As she pulled up her jeans, she smiled slightly, glad that her pants still fit like they did. Although she did grow in height, the pants were fairly long when she got them. At least she had grown into the pants. They were fairly new when she put them away. Now she hoped for the same results for her tank top. When she put it on, she was somewhat dismayed, as her height left a bit of her belly bare. Although she was a simple b-cup, the fact that her height affected the overall coverage of her top left her a bit uneasy. She was never one to wear revealing clothing. Sadly she knew that she might have to go clothes shopping, as it was most likely that most of her tops wouldn't fit her anymore. Seeing that she would have to work with what she had, she threw her undergarments in the hamper, placed her locket around her neck, gathered her pyjamas and opened the door to leave. She opens the bathroom door to be greeted by her sister all groggy as she stumbles into the bathroom.

She slightly smiled, finding herself appreciating her sister's laziness. It somehow lifted a bit of the anger she had towards her, but it would be a long time until she could forgive her. She tossed her clothes onto her bed, and then turned towards the countertop where various draws of make-up and jewellery waited to be opened and used. She approached the countertop, bent down and opened a draw on the bottom, pulling out a box and placed it on the table. It was a simple box really. It was wooden, a bit of a rust coloured, with a simple spiral pattern engraved around the edge of the lid. Rei sighed as she opened it up revealing a series of earrings and studs in a velvet lined case. She smiled slightly remember what it meant to her.

She pulled out a pair of sliver studs with sapphires in the middle and placed them on the table before she closed the box and put it away again. She reached up to her ears where she pulled out two pieces of wood out from her ears, and threw them in the garbage bin next to the counter, and put on the studs. Once she was satisfied with how they looked and fitted on her ear, she walked into the closet, went into her sister's side of the closet and pulled out a jean jacket that had AYANAMI emblazoned on the back of it in white. She smiled slightly as she put it on, before going back to her side and opened up a drawer of socks and pulled out a pair, before bending down and reached back and pulled out a pair of white Adidas sports shoes. Satisfied with what she was going to wear, she turned to her desk, and began packing what she would need for the day.

Once packed, she took her school bag, and headed down for breakfast, and her first day as the person she used to be. She hoped that she would be able to live out the first day without trouble. As she walked down the stairs she hears Naoko cooking breakfast. Her nose suddenly registered smells that soon overwhelmed her. It was something she had long forgotten and ignored during her down time. Despite the fact she still felt horrible, but she was again aware of her world. She savoured the smell of her mother preparing a vegetarian breakfast for her while preparing a regular breakfast for the rest of the family. Another major distinction between the two sisters was that Rei couldn't handle meat while Reika could. It was another special distinction that Rei appreciated. Despite they were twins; they were unique, different in their own ways.

When she entered the kitchen she was greeted by someone saying, "Rei, you look wonderful." She looked to her left to see Ritsuko looking up from her newspaper.

"How are you Rei?" Naoko asked as she looked up from her cooking. Rei looked between her mother and sister to seeing something she never really noticed before. She could see the concern in their eyes. She was surprised that even now they were still in concerned for her. However what surprised her was how she had missed their concern. But then again with what had happened she couldn't possibly blame herself, but she did anyways for not noticing them until now. But she felt good at the fact that people still cared.

"Arigatou onee-san," Rei said towards Ritsuko before she turned to face Naoko. "I am fine okaa-san. I am trying."

Naoko smiled gently as she said, "I'm glad you are Rei. Just don't go too hard, or you might hurt yourself."

"Hai," she said as she put her bag down and sat down.

A while later Reiki had finally came down dressed in black jeans, a white long-sleeved shirt with a black t-shirt overtop, and black vest, and hair tied back into a ponytail when she noticed Rei. At first she was speechless. She knew that Rei had taken her deal seriously but sitting at the kitchen table was someone she was not expecting to see. She had expected Rei to wear something less bold, but enough to reveal a bit of her old self. But instead she got the Rei Ayanami she knew two years ago. It was as if the Rei she knew from before had gone on vacation, leaving the quiet depressed Rei she just spoke to last night, and then came back just in time for breakfast.

"Rei!" she shrieked, "you look good!"

"Arigatou, onee-san," Rei replied before she took the plate her mother handed to her and began to eat. Reika's face fell a bit, recognising a bit of the venom she still had whenever she spoke to her. She sighed as she took her seat next to her, took the plate Naoko gave her and dug in as well.

After a breakfast in a comfortable silence Ritsuko asked, "Say girls, either of you need a lift?"

"I'm good. I want to bike this morning."

"I shall be taking my skateboard." All three suddenly looked at Rei. One looked in bewilderment, while the other two were in surprise. They had not expected that Rei would try this. After all she had only begun to heal, and to do something like skateboarding was a bit sudden, even for her.

"Rei, you know what I said about hurting yourself," Naoko began in a warning tone.

"I am aware okaa-san," Rei calmly replied. "However I need this. If I plan to, move on, I'd like to do to some things I could do before. It is the best way to remember him in a more, positive manner."

Naoko smiled gently as she said, "I think he'd like that."

"I know he would've." She got up from the table, grabbed her plate and said, "Excuse me." She quickly placed her dishes in the sink, ran up to her room and grabbed her old mp3 player from her desk. She put it around her neck and held it in her hands and stared at it for a few moments.

It was a sleek, black rectangular piece, with a circular set of buttons on the bottom, and a screen next to it. As she stared at it, she thought about a particular song that she had put into it. It was the most recent song she added before her depression. She remembered why she put it in. It was his favourite song, and he wanted to be able to listen it at night when the nights got warmer. She remembered how he would always tell her to put that song up whenever he was down, and how he would simply sit in her lap while she did homework and listened to the song. The memory brought a few tears which she quickly wiped. She started to leave the room when she turned on the player and placed the ear buds in her ears. She searched for the song and then pressed play. In moments, the buds began to vibrate with music once again as the player played out the song.

The song opened up with a slow vocal intro with two women, one of a high pitched voice, the other more of a bass sound before the song picked up and the higher pitched singer began to sing.

_Fall in love..._

_Fall in love..._

_Fall in love..._

_Fall in love..._

As she listened, she remembered many things, lot of things for that matter. She couldn't help but feel sad and happy as she listened. A lot of the memories were good, but some were also sad. As she walked down the stairs she remembered her late father who died a year ago, the person she often remembered in sadness, the life she had before she was adopted by the Akagi's, and many other memories.

_I need your love in every way_

_And I feel this everyday_

_Cause I have too many tears_

_To fall in love again_

When she had reached downstairs she saw Ritsuko and Naoko giving her concerned looks, but smiled assuring them they had nothing to worry about, gave them a thumb up, grabbed her bag and walked out. She reached the closet next to the main door, opened it and pulled out a skate board. She looked on the bottom which had an image of a blue armoured humanoid machine, that had a helmet like head, a green orb on the top, and a red orb, much like a Cyclops would. On the left side was the word, Zerogouki written in Japanese text and Kanji. She remembered receive the gift from her mother as a birthday present when she turned 13. It was an image from the game that her mother and sister were working on at the time. It was a hit game, but she never really bothered to try it. She walked out the door, hopped onto her board and head up the hill as she tried to catch up with her sister.

_Now, I am walking around_

_In this side of the town I just can't hideaway_

_How can I look in your eyes?_

_When I feel like to die I have to runaway_

As she skated she thought about how she had spent her life during the past two years. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she had lived a miserable two years. Being engulfed by sadness and grief did that to one. She thought of ways she could've better handled it, but each of them led to the conclusion that there was no way she could've done anything she thought of up. Emotions always had a way of clouding or obscuring judgement and rationality. It can't be helped. She was only human.

_Dariri Ram dariram dariram_

_Darirari rariram_

_Daririram dam_

_Dariri Ram dariram dariram_

_Darirari rariram_

_Daririram dam_

_And fall in love again_

_And fall in love again_

She quickly caught up with her sister and skated alongside her just as the hill started to level off. They shared a brief look before they continued along the path towards school. As they moved along the sidewalk, passing by other students, Rei thought about how she would be treated in school. But she decided to think about it later. Right now she just wanted to enjoy the feel of skating again. She always skated without her helmet when she went to school, for she liked the feel of the wind through her hair, and the ability to control how fast she went must like biking, except that she used to do tricks as she went to school, such as grinding along railings, or even tried to balance on one spot on her board. There were a lot of good times she had with her board, and she hoped to do some of her tricks again.

_Life can be hard so many times_

_How can I just live it fine?_

_And I'm trying now to smile_

_To fall in love again_

As the words passed through her ears, she wondered if she could really live out her life normally again. Considering all that has happened to her recently she could only hope that she really could move on with her life. Plus she found herself smiling at the fact that he liked a song about trying to recover from love. It was sort of fitting, as she really loved him and the fact he died because of her and her sister's irresponsibility was something she just couldn't handle, which led to her depression.

_Now, I am walking around_

_In this side of the town I just can't hideaway_

_How can I look in your eyes?_

_When I feel like to die I have to runaway_

_Dariri Ram dariram dariram_

_Darirari rariram_

_Daririram dam_

_Dariri Ram dariram dariram_

_Darirari rariram_

_Daririram dam_

_And fall in love again_

_And fall in love again_

_Fall in love…_

**(Disclaimer: I do not own Dam Dariram. Joga and the people of DDR 3rd Mix own the song thank you very much. So now don't you dare, be calling me some sort of copyright infringer!)**

As the song finished they quickly dismounted and walked onto the school grounds. As Rei looked ahead, she realized how different everyone really was. Instead of the usual white tops, or black blazers during the winter, it was a wide array of various colours and clothing design. It was a bit of a shock for Rei, especially since she was used to wearing a dress shirt and knee-length skirt, whether it was her uniform or her daily clothes, and ignoring the world around her. Now that she was becoming more aware of her surroundings it was a bit unsettling for her.

She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder to see Reika looking at her, assuring her that it was going to be okay. Rei felt thankful of her sister's support despite her anger, and graced her with a small smile as she took a deep breath and walked onto the school grounds. Already she was already having heads turn towards her as people began to notice the Ayanami twins. Many were highly surprised to see Rei dressed anything like Reika. Despite the difference of clothing, they stood out brightly amongst the rest of the students. It was a sight to see. Everyone began to ask questions, such as where did Rei go to, or was the Ice Queen and the Skater Queen the same person, and other such questions.

It was an interesting experience to be able to turn heads again for Rei. For two years she had people completely ignore her or ridicule her to no end. But to suddenly have people give her their undivided attention was a bit new to her. She had long forgotten what it was like to have a certain level of popularity. It made her feel a bit uncomfortable to have everyone's eyes on her. To be under the scrutiny of the entire school body was something unsettling, as if she did something embarrassing or something that would be considered odd, she could end up hurting herself even further as news would spread through the entire school fast. She just prayed that nothing of the sort would happen.

As she walked, she noticed how the crowd suddenly gave way revealing Asuka as she walked up to Rei, sporting a red t-shirt, white skorts that had the German flag sown on the bottom right, and her hair was tied up in a ponytail instead of her usual two mini pig tails. She leaned forward with a bored look and gave her a once over.

She sighed slightly and said, "Boring. Jean jackets are so two years ago."

Rei neutrally replied, "Your point Soryu-san?"

"I'm saying that you were so two years ago. As far as I'm concerned, the Skater Queen is gone. However with me on the other hand," her tone substantially changing, "The Great Asuka Soryu, I am the new black, the top of the mountain, the queen of the world, so to speak. You on the other hand are just some wannabe who's looking for attention. Now why don't you just crawl back into that hole you were in just yesterday and let us real popular kids get on with our lives." Reika opened her mouth to speak when Rei suddenly shot out her arm.

"I wish to deal with this on my own, Reika-san," Rei quietly whispered before directing her attention towards Asuka.

"I appreciate the offer however I am comfortable with where and what I am now. And have you forgotten that I am not one easy to insult?"

"Oh sure, you say you are not easy to insult, but I know you just want to cry your pretty little heart out. C'mon, why don't you show us your true side? I'd love to see the Rei that I've created for the past two years."

"Do you honestly wish to see the fruition of your work?"

"C'mon, I'm just dying to wait."

"As you wish," Rei sighed as she handed her board to Reika. She walked up towards Asuka until her face was just a few inches away from her face and stared straight into her eyes. For a moment it was dead silence as the two stared at one another. Rei closed her eyes as Asuka smirked. However the smirk was suddenly wiped off as Rei backhanded Asuka across the cheek.

"It is a sample," Rei neutrally said as she took her board back from Reika and left without another word. 'So much for the deal.'

As she walked through the halls her mind was in uproar. She was promised that Asuka would be removed as a threat, but now she only made it worse. She didn't know what she was thinking when she had agreed. It was impossible now for Asuka to ever respect her. If she ever did it was only because she was forced to. She understood Asuka. Asuka was one who would not be ignored. Being ignored was the last thing she wanted. Even in her depressed state, she continued to observe her surroundings. But it was only certain things, such as human behaviour. She had long ago determined what made Asuka tick, but never really had the will to actually destroy her. She knew the consequences of such an action. It would be something she would never be able to live down if she ever really did anything.

Throughout the two years, because she had not cared about herself, or about others, nor really made it a point to do anything, she had in a sense blended it. She was part of those who were meant to be ignored. She was in a sense satisfied with that group. After what had happened two years prior she didn't care if she was ignored, she didn't care if she was hated, in general she didn't care. That was her life. She had stepped into the darkness and she didn't really care. She had stopped caring long ago. She had stopped living when-

"Ayanami-san." Rei looked behind her to see Shinji, in a white dress shirt, navy blue undershirt, black trousers and white shoes, running up to her. Her heart slightly picked up at the sight of him as it reminded her why she had initially accepted the deal. Reika had told her that Shinji might've taken an interest in her. If so, she was willing to try. When she had felt Shinji's powerful gaze, she felt a desire to live. It was a powerful desire, and it was something she couldn't ignore, no matter how sad she was. It was only human nature to want to live when one found a reason to. Perhaps this was the reason that she needed.

"Ayanami-san," Shinji repeated as he neared her, "why-why you slap Asuka?" Rei took a moment to ponder if she should answer. Right in front of her was a boy who she hardly knew asking her a rather personal question, or rather what she had deemed a personal question. She had half a mind to be blunt and just outright say no, but another part of her wanted to let him down easy and say something nice so that it wouldn't hurt him. It was a rather difficult battle, with the darkness of her depression trying to attain supremacy against the light that was the Rei Ayanami she used to be. The darkness proved to be a powerful force as it had had two years dominance. The incident from two years ago had shattered her ego which left her at the mercy of her depression. However her struggling ego had the help of her heart which had long since lain dormant.

In the end her ego and heart won as she replied, "I'd rather not talk about it Ikari-san. It is rather person, and I'd appreciate it if you do not ask about it."

Shinji smiled slightly, "It's alright, I understand." His eyes gave Rei a once over as he said, "You look nice, Ayanami-san."

Rei looked away in an attempt to hide her blush as she said, "Thank you, Ikari-san." Many things were happening inside Rei. She had not expected for Shinji to actually arouse something in her that she thought had died long ago. It had left her confused and unsure of how she should act. Before she knew how to act around people and be able to read them. But with Shinji it was a bit different. She was flustered, confused, and even possibly a bit nervous around him. Interacting with people was somewhat of a new experience for her as she did cut herself off from human interaction besides her family.

So lost in her thoughts that she almost didn't notice Shinji gently shaking her as he said, "Ayanami-san, are you alright." Rei nearly jumped at the sudden human contact, and gently pulled her shoulder away from Shinji. She was more flustered than before, as she could feel the heat in her face radiating now.

"I am fine, Ikari-san. Excuse me; I must go to my locker." She nodded her head slightly and turned around as she prepared to leave.

She barely took a step when she heard, "Mind if I follow you? You're locker is just a few doors from mine."

"You may." She then resumed walking towards her locker with Shinji not too far behind her. However he soon lined up with her and her nervousness started to rise again. She could feel her entire chest constrict upon itself as her heart tried to pump enough blood and her lungs tried to draw enough air. She couldn't help but throw occasional glances towards him. There was just something about him that drew her to him. She was already aware that Shinji was somehow drawn to her; however, was it possible that she was reciprocating the feelings? Or was it only because she longed for human contact that the person she saw just happened to be Shinji? She was unsure, but she was aware that she was thinking about Shinji in some odd way, and she was intent on finding out.

As they walked through the halls, they passed a lot of people, most of them females. Although her face remained neutral and her strides were continuous, she could see the hateful glares that were thrown in her direction. Many of the girls adored Shinji much like how the entire school adored Asuka. However Shinji's popularity was gained through the fact he was one of the top students, and that he was kind to everyone. Somehow that drew people. Asuka was because she was flamboyant, energetic, also a top student, a cheerleader, and a number of other things that made her what she currently was today.

She couldn't help but want to just distance herself from Shinji as so that she could cause less trouble. A lot of the glares she seemingly ignored were very much like death threats, and warnings that there was pain involved should she stay near Shinji for long. She felt compelled to leave him alone, and yet, something kept her at bay. It was as if she was going to tear something out of herself if she distanced herself, as if she was going to destroy what was left of her self if she left Shinji behind. With a sudden burst of resolution, Rei slowed her pace down allowing Shinji to line up with her again instead of constantly falling behind. She felt comforted that Shinji was right there next to her. It was a bit odd that she found solace in the presence of another, but perhaps this was a good sign. Perhaps she could begin the slow process of healing.

"Ayanami-san, don't you feel uncomfortable with all these stares?" Shinji quietly asked. "If you want to go ahead, I understand."

"Yes I am, however I believe you are also uncomfortable."

"Yeah I am. But, it doesn't mean you have to-"

"I do this because I choose to."

"Hai, Ayanami-san," Shinji replied after a moment of silence. They continued to walk through the halls, passing more people as they threw more ugly looks at Rei. But to her surprise it wasn't as threatening or as painful as they were only moments ago. She was unsure as to why people were doing this, but it didn't matter for her, for at the moment she felt something she hadn't felt for a long time. She felt safe. She felt the kind of protection she had felt when she was around people. She found great comfort in feeling that sense of security once more.

As they neared their locker, a thought ran through Rei. She suddenly remembered what Reika told her, and why she chose to dress as she did today. She had wished to speak to Shinji, and was asked to dress like her original self. She didn't feel like her original self, but some of the aspects of her original self began to surface. One of them was about to kicking.

"Ikari-kun," Rei began, "when you were at my house, you and Reika spoke of your feelings to me, correct?" Shinji faltered for a moment before he regained his step. Rei looked at him as she waited for his answer.

"Uh…yes, Ayanami-chan and I spoke about you," he nervously replied, looking away as he tried to hide his blush.

"I see," she whispered. "Do you like me?"

"Nani?"

Rei sighed in annoyed fashion before she spoke, "First of all, I dislike repeating myself. Secondly, I asked if you like me."

Shinji remained silent for a moment before he gulped and steeled his resolve as he confidently said, "Hai, Ayanami-san, I like you."

Rei turned her head forward and looked down to hide her ever increasing blush as she whispered, "Hontoni, Ikari-kun?" She felt good. She felt real good, something she hadn't felt in a long time. She'd forgot what it was like to hear that someone confess their feelings. It was something to be treasured, especially if those feelings could be given a chance to grow and develop.

"Hai, Ayanami-san." They stopped in front of their lockers as they switched their shoes and put away unnecessary material. Shinji had long finished exchanging materials; however Rei remained at her locker, with the door hiding her face. She was having difficulty suppressing her blush. She was told by Shinji that he liked her, but she was unsure as to how to proceed now. She had forgotten how to deal with boys who liked her, especially if the feelings are somehow mutual. So consumed with her thoughts she didn't even notice Shinji's approached until he placed his hand on her shoulder causing her to jump in surprise. She looked behind herself to see Shinji standing there with a smile on his face. She returned the gestured, with a smile of her own before she closed her locker with her skateboard, and faced him.

Shinji suddenly took a deep breath as he said, "Ayanami-san, I was wondering, if you wanted to go out with me this Friday?" Rei suddenly gasped at the suddenness of the question that her mind came to a stop. Right there she was thrown a chance to go out with one of the 'un-dateable popular people,' as most females put it. He just asked her out, and all she could do was stand there, in shock and surprise that he asked her. She was even surprised as she slowly regained her senses as Shinji stood there, waiting patiently for her response. She took a few slow breathes as she tried to calm herself and regained her senses.

Realising that he was still waiting for an answer, she looked at him and smiled gently as she said, "Hai, Ikari-kun, I would like that." Shinji smiled widely as he nodded, before he raised his arm towards the direction she always took to her math class. She nodded as they walked towards their classroom. In the back of Rei's mind, she prayed that this chance she took to be with Shinji would be worth what would come throughout the day and the rest of the week. Three days until the date and that meant three days of survival, especially if anyone caught wind of their date.

**So how was that, was it any good? I did cut back on some of the self reflection and such, but like I said, this story was meant to focus on Rei's mind as she goes through all this. So if you guys are still interested in this ride, please review. So far the reviews have been nice, but I wouldn't mind a bit more in-depth review if possible.**

**Anyways, next chapter will be bits and pieces of Rei's day as she tries to survive school, and the date. The following chapter will be Rei's contemplation on the week and her decision on weather or not she should try to continue healing, regain her status, and go on another date with Shinji. Stick around and find out what she chooses and see what goes through her head as she does it.**

**Well anyways, that's all from me**

**Cheers Ja ne**


	3. A Chance to be Free

**Escape From my Darkness**

**Chapter III A Chance to be Free**

**Well, well it seems like the story has drawn more attention, that's good. Despite that I don't have that much of a following it doesn't really matter. This story probably doesn't fit the tastes of most readers, but that doesn't really matter.**

**I also apologise for the lateness of Unbreakable Bond, however I'm suffering from writers block. I'll try to get it up within the week, or next weekend. However I just had this crazy idea for this story so I just had to write it out. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Well anyways, on with the next chapter.**

Rei sighed tiredly as she sat at the foot of her bed. Two days she spent surviving. For two days she endured glares from females, physical and verbal abuse from Asuka, and on top of that, maintaining her composure. Thursday had been the worst of the two as she had dressed much like herself. She had stayed, or more so he stayed, with her throughout the day. She received angry stares and several threats to stay away from Shinji. Often she wanted to turn tail and leave, but every time he stopped her and reassured her. Something about his body language during that day left her puzzled when she thought about it. It seemed out of his character since he's only seen interacting with his two friends. He normally would remain hidden if possible. She welcomed it nonetheless. Even if it was out of character she felt safe around him. Even before her depression she never really felt safe around anyone. Only around Shinji she felt a sense of security.

Rei sighed tiredly as she lay back on her bed in her uniform. She had gone through yet another rigorous day of harassment leaving her exhausted. Even with Shinji's support it greatly taxed her. She stared up at the ceiling as her hand ran through her hair. She couldn't help but smile at the feel of her hair. It was great for once, not feeling split ends or oil. She had her hair cut yesterday and began taking care of it again. The barber was delighted to see her again that he charged her half price. All she had done was simply shortened it so that it curved into her neck. An improvement to the straight down tangled hair she had prior. Today it was uniforms again, Shinji had complimented her hair. Rei felt a bit warm remembering the compliment. He had said she looked good with that hairstyle, and that it suited her. Her hand gently brushed her hair as it grazed the hairpin she wore to hold her hair behind her left ear. She had worn it since her hair cut. She unclipped it and stared.

It was snow white with a cherry blossom flower on the end. As she held it in the moonlight the pin softly glowed. It was one of her favourites; she had it for years. For how long she no longer knew. She had stopped wearing it when she started high school. People thought it looked silly on her so she only wore it at home. It was something she treasured among her few prized possessions. It was the only thing she had that connected her to her original mother. She looked at the underside as she read the name, Tomoyo Ayanami. That was the only thing she had of her mother. She sighed sadly. Neither she nor Reiki knew anything of their family. All she knew was that her parents died when she was five. That's all she knew, nothing more. She gently thumbed the flower as it brought forth recent memories.

She sighed happily remembering what Shinji had told her. He said she looked cute with it. She had to turn her back on him to hide her blush. She never felt as embarrassed in her life as she was then. It felt alien to her; almost unnatural. It was something she didn't know how to handle, especially since she never had to deal with boys in such a manner. He made her feeling something she hadn't felt in a while. She felt good. Not only that, he aroused something within her that she only began to experience. She felt more like a girl.

She was always an extreme tomboy, wearing jeans, doing sports, not that many female related activities with the exception of the violin. Other than that it was mostly male related activities; martial arts being her number one thing. She and Reika were the best in their dojo but after Rei had quit her skills diminished. Not like she cared at the time. For most her life she felt like a boy and was treated as such. She liked it, as it was something she had grown up with. But when Shinji started to compliment her and treat her accordingly, she felt like a female.

Feeling like a female, a strange feeling it was. After two years of depression she actually felt human. It was a nice feeling and yet she found it suddenly frightening. She had been rooted into a single way of life for two years, was suddenly thrust into a world she knew nothing about. The ways of society scared her. A date was a term of society which implied a boy and girl go out and spend time together alone; be it a simple or romantic outing. Although the date with Shinji was a simple outing, she feared it anyways. The way she dressed Thursday also conformed to society. At one point a popular girl, she had been asked to dress as such by Reika. So she dressed like one and looked like one, as she conformed to society's standards of what a popular girl looks like. She had changed herself to match the rules and standards set by society. All the time she always tried to go against standards, dressing like boys, wearing cloths that scandalized most girls and adults, did things that were not considered proper for a girl, and then some. To suddenly find she's conforming to society began to distress her. She found it increasingly hard to breathe, feeling its mighty hand pressing down on her.

She shot up from her bed and slammed up against the bathroom door in an attempt to space herself. Her breathing laboured heavily as her eyes widened in fear as a presence became known to her. She whimpered fearfully as she hid in the corner between the balcony and closet doors. She leaned deep into the corner as she slid down. Sweet coated her silk white skin, sealing her in a glossy film. Her voice caught in her throat as she trembled under the darkness. It was the darkness that took him. It was the darkness that took Kouji. Now it came for her. She curled up into a tight ball as she gripped her hairpin and locket with all her heart.

She chanced a peek and shut her eyes tight. It was far worse than she could imagine. The demon's form was beyond imaginings. Its eyes pierce her soul with the agility and grace of a well placed arrow shot. Its arms long and nimble danced in and out tearing her defences. It wanted her and it would get her. It was the very being that took the person that saw her as a female and it wanted her. It desired granting eternal pain. It desired her eternal suffering. It desired the world to forget her. It desired her destruction.

"NO! GET AWAY!"

But it wouldn't. It continued its slow agonizing approach, slowly as it swatted her defences. She opened her eyes and screamed in fear.

"Rei, are you alright?"

She saw its eyes, its hollowed eyes that led deep within itself. It was sickening. She felt sick at the sight of it. She wanted to close her eyes but she couldn't. As it lumbered she could see its many victims. Children of all ages strapped or chained to tables, chairs, walls, each other, or caged with other children, or with beings. She saw adults that had been forced to watch as the children were beaten, slashed, and even tortured unable to do a thing to save them. She trembled at the sight of her parents who were forced to watch such atrocities.

"Ayanami-san, what's going on?"

"NO … PLEASE! GET AWAY!"

It just wouldn't. It loomed over her towering above the clouds. It bent down as it brought its face to hers. Her heart beat mightily against her chest as her lungs fought to give her oxygen. She could feel its breath, its very touch freezing all around it. Its breath, filled with the stench of death. It suddenly snapped its head back as it revealed its face. In that instant, her whole world stopped.

"KOUJI!"

"Rei, REI! SNAP OUT OF IT!"

"Who's…who's there?" She slowly opened her eyes as they revealed Shinji's face.

"Ikari-kun?"

"What a relief. You had us worried," said Shinji as a wide smile formed on his face. Rei soon realized that he held her in his arms. She felt tired, especially after that encounter with whatever that was. She sighed contently, snuggled closer to Shinji as she gently let sleep take her.

"Rei, wake up," a gently voice called out. "Rei, it's 2 in the afternoon." Rei slowly opened her eyes as it met the warm gaze of her adoptive sister.

"Onee-san," Rei weakly whispered, "what happened?"

"You had a nightmare," Ritsuko calmly explained, gently stroking Rei's hair. "Shinji-kun and Reika-chan heard you scream. They came up to see you were tossing around. You then suddenly stopped that they thought you had fallen unconscious. Shinji-kun had Reika-chan call me while he took care of you. By the time I had arrived, you had fallen asleep already."

"I see. What happened afterwards?"

"My, my, inquisitive are we? Well afterwards they went back to work on their biology project for a while before he had to leave. Which reminds me; he wanted me to tell you that if you were unable to go today he'd understand. He also left his number and e-mail address." Ritsuko held a piece of paper to Rei as she slowly accepted it.

"Get some rest, the phone is right on there on the nightstand," she stated, pointing to the table between the two beds. "Please check with me before you decide to go out. I'll be in my office."

"Onee-san, where is Reika-san?"

"She's with friends, and school will mostly be cancelled until Wednesday. Apparently a prank had gone bad, as a couple cases of fireworks somehow exploded on the school grounds. Also some sort of material was spilled throughout most of the first floor. It was an acidic solution, that is all we know, or rather I know. Mother is seeing to it right now."

"I see. Thank you, onee-san." Ritsuko nodded and walked out of the room, gently closing the door behind her.

Rei sighed as she stared at the number and e-mail Shinji left. She looked up at the ceiling, and closed her eyes. She felt horrible. Physically she was fine, but the images had done a lot of damage. She had seen her parents, Kouji, all those children, it. The images left her weak. It had swatted through every defence she had that prevented such images to enter her sleeping state. She had stopped dreaming years ago, but to let such an image get to her was disturbing. She felt weak, unworthy again. She fought and lost miserably. Her opponent for as far back as she could remember was the ways of society. Often as she could she would try to defy society, dressing beyond of the average tomboy, acting beyond of the average tomboy, ate beyond the average tomboy. In her mind she was a guy. For as long as she knew she hated being treated like a girl. It was what destroyed her on that day when Kouji died. She still blamed herself and Reika for what happened. She had allowed herself to be vulnerable and it destroyed her and killed Kouji. She still regretted it to this day.

She wondered why she even felt like a girl. Even when people complimented her she never blushed, she never felt hot, she never felt giddy. She always said thank you and then business as usual. Yet somehow Shinji changed her. His words, his kindness, his sincerity, his actions, everything about him sparked something inside her. From the moment he gazed her Wednesday he had changed a lot about her. She became more aware of her surroundings, of herself, of her family and the people around. She even saw certain boys in different lights. She could sense things about them she never could before, such as their sensitive sides, their expressions whether it was true concern, or hidden lewdness, she could see them and more. She never expressed her findings but she kept note of them. It was a whole new world to her. She felt like she had been reborn as the girl she was meant to be. It seemed as if she had been given a second chance at life by Shinji.

The very thought of him heated her up as she felt her cheeks redden. It was an odd feeling yet she welcomed it. It felt good having someone see her in that light. Perhaps he could help her construct a new life. The goal seemed much more attainable now. In fact it excited her that without realising it she had she had risen from bed and was on the balcony.

She looked ahead to see the afternoon sun shining brightly over the mountains. It was a nice view. That was the thing she loved about her room. The balcony had the perfect view of the sunset and had the easiest access to the roof to stargaze. There was something peculiar about her view. It always gave her hope for a better day, allowing her to move on each day. For a time it had lost its powers and it's value. But just now she felt much better. She felt the light of the warm afternoon spring sun bath her in its glow. She felt its radiant energy flooded her rejuvenating her battered soul. She felt good, pleasant, almost happy, almost. She felt unsure if she could ever really be happy again, but she would try for him.

Rei looked down at the piece of paper and held it against her chest. Perhaps Shinji could help her heal. She considered it a possibility, and would take that chance when he had earned her trust. She had learned long ago that trust was very fragile and once broken was very hard to restore. She had trusted someone with her life and it cost her Kouji's life. She never forgave that person, and she didn't know if she could ever. Something about Shinji told her that he could be trusted and would be loyal to her, but she had to be sure. She would let him prove his worthiness.

Rei grabbed the phone and dialled his number. The phone rang for a few moments. Rei sighed and was about to hang when someone picked up.

"Moshi, moshi, Katsuragi residence."

"Katsuragi?" Rei whispered in surprise.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

'Misato-san, who's that?' a voice asked on the other end.

"_Shinji,_" Rei thought. "May I speak to Ikari-kun?"

"Oh, may I ask who this is?"

"It's…it's…" Rei paused as she pondered whether or not to present herself.

"It's alright, just a moment."

"Hello?"

"Ikari-kun?" Rei slowly spoke.

"Ayanami-chan," said Shinji's voice, "are you alright? You gave us a scare yesterday." Rei felt herself blush. He genuinely cared for her. Although people did care for her it was more of friendly way. She always felt good that people cared for her. But this was different. She still felt good, yet, she felt warm, relieved, and maybe a bit glad that Shinji cared for her. She somehow felt more secure about herself whenever Shinji expressed his concern.

"I am fine, Ikari-kun."

"What a relief," he sighed.

"Ikari-kun, would you still like to take me to the movies?" Rei nervously asked.

"Are you sure?" he asked cautiously. "I know we rescheduled to today and all, but you did have that nightmare last night."

"Hai, I am sure. I…wish to clear my head." There was a moment of silence where Rei began to worry about his response. She suddenly felt scared; of what she was unable to determine. She began to tremble in fear. She didn't want this feeling of security to suddenly go away, not when she just found it.

"Ikari-kun?" she worriedly asked.

"Sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to scare you. I had to feed Pen-Pen."

"Pen-Pen?"

"My godmother's pet warm water penguin, and please don't ask. And how about I pick you up around 6 tonight?"

"It is agreeable."

"Great, I'll see you then."

"Hai, ja ne, Ikari-kun."

"Ja ne, Ayanami-chan."

Following hanging up the phone, Rei lay back on her bed and looked up as a wide smile formed on her face. She felt good, relieved, warm, and most of all happy. She was going on a date with Shinji Ikari. She had done something she believed that most girls had considered the impossible. She had found that something about his shy, possibly introvert nature had drawn girls. Many girls flocked towards him in hopes to get to know him or even date him. But more often than not their actions often scared him and chased him off. But yet with some of the more quiet girls like her, he could interact with them much easier. Not long before he had transferred, her sister made a hypothesis that quiet introvert people interacted better with people who were much like them. She never bothered to prove her it, but Rei had discovered that it held substance. Shinji interacted with people who hid in the corners, were shy, or introvert with greater ease than with people who were more flamboyant such as Asuka. In fact she noted that he was terrified of her. Why she never bothered, but assumingly her extreme outgoing nature was not something he could appreciate.

Rei looked at her clock to see it read 2:30pm. She still had roughly three hours and a half to get ready. She sighed and got out of bed and headed for Ritsuko's office to tell her she was going to head out.

At the same time at the Katsuragi residence, a much more lively discussion was being held.

"So, Shinji, a girl was it now?" Misato asked in a playful tone.

Shinji immediately blushed at the question as he set the phone down, "H-h-hai, Misato-san."

"Oh I see," she replied in an all knowing manner as her eyes narrowed and a playful smirk crept up along her face. "Somebody got himself a hot date."

"Misato-san," Shinji whined.

"So who is this Ayanami-chan? A bright, flamboyant popular girl?"

"I-I-I-"

"Oh no worries, I'll just look in last year's yearbook," Misato happily exclaimed as she pulled out a large hardcover book. "Now let's see," she muttered as she leafed through the pages. "Rei Ayanami? YOU'RE DATING HER!"

"Misato-san? What's wrong?" he asked, cringing back in fear.

"Yes there is," she growled as she walked up to him. Shinji remained paralyzed as Misato approached him.

He suddenly found himself in a bear hug as Misato said, "You're dating the adopted sister of my best friend Ritsuko!"

"You know Ritsuko-san?" Shinji gasped as he struggled to get out of Misato's grip.

"We were college buddies," she explained. "She told me that she had three adoptive children; two sisters and a brother."

"Wait…I never knew the Ayanami's had a brother," Shinji exclaimed, finally pushing Misato back as he looked at her in surprise.

"Really?" Misato asked in surprise. "I'm sure you would've met him. Kouji should be 12 by now."

"But, I…I never saw a Kouji," Shinji explained. "I've seen a few pictures of the family, and none of them show a picture of a younger brother."

"Hmm…that's odd. I'll ask Ritsuko about it tonight then," Misato said. "I'm going to take a nap. Wake me up around 5:30. I'll drive you to her place, and leave you there." Shinji sighed as he watched his guardian leave him alone in his thoughts. As he sat back in his chair his expression told one he was in very deep thought.

Soon enough 6:00 was just around the corner, and Rei felt downright nervous. She had never gone out on a date with anyone. She hung out, but this, this was a new experience. Already she felt anxiety as she waited for Shinji's arrival. She gave herself a once over as she waited. She wore a white sleeveless shirt that had a cherry blossom tree on the back, her Ayanami jean jacket, and instead of her knee length skirt she wore a black mid thigh skirt. It was the ensemble that Ritsuko helped put together with some of Reika's clothes. She wore a bit of blush, a hint of azure eye shadow, and the cherry blossom hairpin held some of her hair behind her left ear. She always liked doing that and saw no problem in doing that.

She didn't know what to expect. She looked good, but wondered if the date was going to be good, and what about Shinji. What were his expectations, and how was he going to act during the date. So many questions and possibilities ran through her mind as she paced back and forth in her room. She wondered if she he would try anything, if the activities would be fun, if she would embarrass herself, if she would have a good time, many, many things raced through her mind as she waited. It wracked her nerves as she waited.

After what felt like an eternity she rushed down to open the door. After all this time she had wallowed in sadness. She had allowed the death of Kouji to bring her down and let her grief consume her. She had stood by as she allowed people to walk all over her and make a fool out of her. For too long she had suffered. Now she had a chance to let it all behind her for a short time and live. She needed to be free and this was it. It was her shot at freedom; her chance to be free from the memories; her choice to move on.

"Ikari-kun," she happily greeted, greatly surprising her and Shinji. She never spoke in such a manner. Even back then she never did, be it in public or at home. However considering the circumstances she let it pass.

"Ayanami-chan," Shinji nervously greeted. He wore a red collared shirt with the top button undone, blue jeans, and a simple black jacket. Behind him was a woman in her early thirties. She had long lavender hair reaching down to her shoulder blades, brown eyes, and the widest smile on her face. For a moment the two stared at each other. There was something familiar about the smile on her face. She had seen it before but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Konbanwa," Rei politely greeted as she bowed. "I am Ayanami Rei."

"Have you already forgotten me, Rei-chan?" the woman replied.

"Have we met?" Rei asked as she looked up at the woman.

"Misato?" Ritsuko called out from behind her.

"_It's Katsuragi-san?_" Rei asked mentally.

"Ritsuko," Misato called out as she walked past Rei and hugged her friend. "Long time no see, how you been?"

"I've been great," she replied. "It's been what, 4 years since we last met?"

"Sounds like it. So how about we let these two go on their date while we catch up eh?" Misato suggested as she winked at the two. Rei and Shinji immediately blushed as they both looked at their feet in embarrassment. For a moment the two remained silent while Ritsuko and Misato entered the kitchen to continue talking. It was a bit of an awkward silence between the two, yet Rei felt content. Despite the silence, Shinji's presence soothed her battered soul. For some strange reason she felt completely at ease around him. She never felt the haunting presence of her past or those who bullied her in school. It was he and only he that ever made her feel comfortable enough to let her guard down. Perhaps it would be he who would be her healer, her guardian, and with luck her life partner.

"Ikari-kun, shall we proceed?" Rei nervously asked.

"Uh…hai," he replied in the same tone as he held his arm out towards the door. Rei nodded and headed out with Shinji just behind her as he closed the door.

"Ikari-kun, may I ask where we are going?"

"I'll be driving us to the movies," he explained as they walked down the stairs.

"Driving? You possess a driver's licence?"

"Hai," he responded as he pointed towards the blue Renaults parked behind Ritsuko's black Honda Accord. Rei had no comments mentally or verbally, so she remained silent. Shinji opened the door for her which made Rei blush. It was a common practice for the male to be courteous to the female but to actually experiencing such courtesy left her flustered. She nodded and sat down and strapped herself in as she waited for Shinji to enter.

The drive to the movies was uneventful, but it was a calming silence. It gave Rei a chance to think more about what's been happening to her throughout the week. Wednesday started off the same, with usual morning grieving, followed by a day of torture from Asuka and her friends. She had shrugged it off but little by little it picked at her, destroying her slowly. She often tried to hide somewhere but more often than not someone from Asuka's crew would find her and bully her to no end at one point or another. The torture became an endless ritual she had long ago accepted it. It was also that day that began to change her. Shinji had come over to work on a biology project with Reika, but she had karate practice. So during the wait he had tried to talk to her but failed miserably. So he had remained silent, but something about his gaze during that time had stirred something inside her. It slowly sparked something inside her that she had long thought had died. He somehow revived her soul. It was weak but it lived. From there she had originally strike up a deal with Reika to have Asuka removed as a threat but the deal was dissolved the moment she slapped Asuka. It was also that day he had asked her to go out on a date with her Friday, and then later rescheduled to Saturday. All in all, it had been an interesting week, three days to be precise. She hoped that the date would be as interesting and refreshing as most people seem to indicate it is. She and Shinji would soon find out if they were made for one another.

At the movie theatre Rei felt overwhelmed. The lobby was crowded with people coming and going. There were couples and families throughout that she instinctively grabbed Shinji's arm and held on. She never liked crowds; this was too much for her. She felt extreme anxiety build up in her. She just wanted to scream and run out of the building. Shinji apparently had noticed her anxiety and picked a relatively quiet movie, quickly grabbed some popcorn and drinks, and guided her to the theatre. Throughout the whole time she held on tight to Shinji's arm. She felt the blood flow in his arm nearly came to a halt but she wouldn't let go. She wanted to but felt scared to be in such an environment. She felt a bit faint, but held on tightly as they made their way though the crowds until Shinji found the theatre that was playing the movie the tickets stated.

Upon entering the theatre Rei felt some tension leave her. It was a large dark room, but there weren't that many people scattered throughout the room. Shinji led her to a corner far from most people and sat down. Rei felt relieved. She always had that problem about crowds.

"Ayanami-chan, are you alright?" Shinji asked worriedly.

"Hai," Rei shakily answered as she tried to slow her breathing. "I am uncomfortable around crowds."

"It was more like you wanted to run out of the place," Shinji commented.

"I am somewhat cluster phobic. I am fine in cramped spaces; however in crowds I often had panic attacks. That is why I rarely am seen in the cafeteria or more often occupied areas in the school during breaks. My phobia prevents me. That is why you often see me at the edge of crowds." Shinji nodded understandingly as he gave pass over her drink, and offered some popcorn. Rei smiled and accepted both.

The movie they watched was an old movie made in over 20 years that had been digitally remastered and played in theatres again. The plot seemed fine but a lot of the religious content just made the movie that much hard to follow. The movie mostly ranted on and on about Human Instrumentality and how it was the main character's choice to restart life or end it and all that nonsense. Neither of them really caught on with the storyline, but watched it nonetheless for the battles. However the second half the story focused more on psychological aspects that they simply sat there and watched, not understanding a single thing. Soon after Shinji quickly escorted her out of the theatre, and took her on a walk around the city. They passed several interesting shops and stands and looked around. About 8:30 their stomachs began to act up so they found refuge in a simple quiet ramen restaurant that Shinji knew of.

Up until now Rei had been absorbed into the city sights. But now they had stopped and rest, Rei began to evaluate what has happened to so far. Overall the date's been excellent. Shinji seemed trustworthy. He was kind to her, respected her weaknesses, and even drove them to the movie theatre. And during their walk Shinji somehow managed to lead her to the most interesting of places and yet able to avoid the larger crowds that still roamed the streets. That secure feeling whenever she was around Shinji was stronger than ever. Inside the theatre, when they were walking, even now sitting in the quiet booth she felt safe around him. They had encountered a few odd people and almost as if it were an instinctive reaction, Rei noticed that Shinji would cover her. Rei couldn't help but smile. He cared for her. Yet somehow it seemed a bit weird. Why would he display such care when he hardly knew her? Was it in his nature? Or was there something more?

"Ikari-kun, may I ask, why do you treat me so? Is there something you wish in return?"

"What?" Shinji sputtered nearly choking on his tea.

"Your acts of kindness, the way you protected me in school and tonight, it leads me to believe you have an ulterior motive, Ikari-kun."

"I … I thought … I thought you of all people would understand why I do it," Shinji whispered sadly. "It's in my nature to be kind and respectful. I'm not like other guys. I thought that you'd see it. I guess I was wrong." Now she had done it. She ended up doing the very thing she didn't want happen to her. She hurt Shinji's feelings, just because of her suspicions. She felt uneasy seeing Shinji so downtrodden. She wanted to make things better but she was unsure how. She thought about what to say for some time before only one thing came to mind.

"Ikari-kun, gomen ne. I am unused to dating people," she quietly explained, yet shamefully hid her eyes with her bangs. "I spent two years enduring bullying that I questioned your motives. I mistook true kindness as a front for a darker purpose."

"Ayanami-chan," Shinji quietly called out, "what caused you to be the way you are? Why do you seem so distant before today?" Rei looked up to Shinji's face to see him look at her concernedly.

"I … I prefer to not disclose that information," she replied in barely a whisper. Thinking about that hurt too much. She didn't want to have to tell the tale, only to suffer from it. She wasn't ready to let Shinji into that part of her life just yet.

"It's alright," Shinji replied, smiling. "I understand. You don't have to tell me."

"Thank you, Ikari-kun."

"By the way, Misato-san mentioned that you had a brother named Kouji. How come I never met him?" Rei instantly froze at the mention of Kouji. How did Shinji know about Kouji? Not that many people knew about him, and whoever did had either graduated, or had moved away. So how could an outside party like Shinji find out about Kouji? She then remembered that Misato hadn't seen them for four years. She couldn't have known what had happened. However despite the fact that Misato disclosed something without realising the repercussion, she started to shake. Even hearing the mention of his name brought bad memories. The results would be that she would start shaking, feel cold, and sometimes, would start crying like now.

"Ayanami-chan, what's wrong," Shinji asked, noticing the stream of tears from her eyes. She felt him got up and stood next to her as she clenched her eyes tight just to hold back the tears. However no matter how hard she tried, the tears just kept coming, and the images started to surface. Her breathing started to labour as she tried to control herself. She didn't want to make a scene, nor embarrass herself in front of Shinji. Last thing she needed was Shinji to see her in such a weak state again.

"Ayanami-chan, what's wrong? Tell me what's wrong," Shinji pleased, worry weaved in his voice.

"Don't – don't – please, don't even say his name again," Rei sputtered. She was suddenly bombarded with images of blood, a crippled body, the pendant, images her and Kouji sitting on the roof star gazing, watching TV, listening to Dam Dariram, even the last Christmas they spent together. It was all too much as she got up and ran.

**So how was that? Please give me your opinions and reviews, all would be greatly appreciated.**

**Well anyways, that's all from me**

**Cheers Ja ne**


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